The National Weather Service issues a heat advisory today in New York. This, for those of you not familiar with how we do things in New York, means that it is hot.
National Weather Service: Hi, is this New York?
New York: What.
NWS: This is the National Weather Service. Did we wake you up?
New York: No, we were getting up anyway.
NWS: Well, rise and shine! Merry greet the day! Early bird gets the worm!
New York: What is it.
NWS: Listen, we have news. You need to jot this down. Do you have a pen?
New York: Hold on. All right. Gotta pen.
NWS: Here goes. Ready? OK. As your National Weather Service, we’d like to advise you that it’s hot. Hello? Hello?
Yo — el L — snarky phone calls are all well and good, but where are your interview responses? the west coast is cheerfully waiting.
El M - Coming, Superstar. Coming. It’s, uh, the time difference. That’s right. Time zones. I’m still trying to talk Central Time into getting its shit together. Plus the dog ate my alarm clock. You know, Calvin the Tail Fu Dog. The alarm clock never had a chance. It was … epic.
La M. La.
I knew that. Honest.