Everything was fine this morning until some devolutionary nasal gasket slipped its housing a couple of hours ago. Now my brain is spooling through its Star Trek countdown message routine with the rest of me, and it will not listen to reason.
Brain: Left sinus malfunction detected. Transferring operations to right sinus. Commencing headache.
Linus: Brain, the sinus was fine this morning. We had orange juice. Brain? Vitamin C, right? Stop causing trouble.
Brain: Headache initiated. Now commencing tissue-inflammation protocol. Mounting sensory subroutine simulating insertion of garden claw into distal nostril. Sensory subroutine initiates in two minutes from three, two, one … MARK.
Linus: Brain, the nostril is fine. Please stand down.
Brain: Command system disabled. Suffer circuits engaged.
Linus: All right, all right, I’m making tea.
Brain: Coolant leak! Coolant leak!
Brain: Prepare to eject warp core.
This is the part where the containment doors in the engineering section slide down.