The Ravening Geek, Revealed

Geek LoveWe’ve had several geek sightings lately hereabouts (me! me! me!). Since it’s 30 degrees out there and the East Village feels rather remote at this hour, it seems the perfect time to post this. Down here it’s warm, and everything floats. Well, maybe not that, but I’ve got a bottle of Rogue Shakespeare Stout that beckons from the fridge, and that will do. If you don’t know your Rogues, I recommend that you delve. My favorite is their Dead Guy Ale, but that’s just me.

March, 2002. I’m browsing some PC gaming site and in and among the tips and cheats and screenshots I find a poll for players of Role Playing Games. Not the kind of role playing the large beardy sticky guy bugged me about one night years back in a Brooklyn Heights bar, since closed. I mean the simple kind, with Dungeons and Dragons manuals, percentile dice, and no bodily fluids. The burning topic, with responses:

Be honest. If Britney Spears walked up to you and said, “Hi!” what spell would you cast?

  • Charm Person – 40%
  • Suggestion – 18%
  • Otto’s Irresistable [sic] Dance – 11%
  • Age Creature – 9%
  • Abi-Dhalzim’s Horrid Wilting – 6%
  • Expeditious Retreat – 4%
  • Symbol of Pain – 4%
  • Flame Blade – 3%
  • Burning Hands – 3%
  • Change Self – 2%

I love the “be honest” part. “No dude, really. I mean, like if Britney just actually walked in, what spell would you cast? Come on, man, be serious.”

The heart-Geek logo is just one among a forest of clever nifty t-shirts at Think Geek, by the way. It roxØrs. I want this one! Google shrugs and can’t find the original site with that poll, which is just as well. You don’t want to be watching the mating rituals. ‘Tis beyond mortal ken.

About Linus

The man behind the curtain. But couldn't we get a nicer curtain?
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