The National Weather Service issues a heat advisory today in New York. This, for those of you not familiar with how we do things in New York, means that it is hot.
National Weather Service: Hi, is this New York?
New York: What.
NWS: This is the National Weather Service. Did we wake you up?
New York: No, we were getting up anyway.
NWS: Well, rise and shine! Merry greet the day! Early bird gets the worm!
New York: What is it.
NWS: Listen, we have news. You need to jot this down. Do you have a pen?
New York: Hold on. All right. Gotta pen.
NWS: Here goes. Ready? OK. As your National Weather Service, we’d like to advise you that it’s hot. Hello? Hello?