It’s my theory that Keira Knightley was put here on the Prime Material Plane to be properly appreciated, ideally by me. (Remind me later to explain why you stop existing when I take a nap: all of a piece, you see.) This kind of thinking often qualifies as “stalking,” but given the season I prefer to call it “being of good cheer.” It’s so much less messy that way.
A couple of weeks ago, then, it was perfectly natural to find me dandling through Keira’s bio at the All Movie Guide. Water runs down the hill, planets whip around the sun, money flows outward and pools in the East Village; and Linus reads Keira Knightley’s online bio every now and then. All as it should be.
I know not all writing is meant to spin the hours into dreams. Sometimes it’s just the fax, ma’am, and then you’re free to go. But can there ever be an excuse for the following as the start of a topic sentence?
“A slender but lean brunette beauty…”
As opposed to all those slender but tubby types you’ll see bulling through the streets of London. Someone needs a new publicist, I’m thinkin’.
Previously Peppered on Keira Knightley: