Heart U.

Candy is DandyFor better or worse, happy Valentine’s Day to lovers, wish-we-were lovers, unlovers, and everyone between. Thanks to Guinness for pointing me to the online ACME Labs Heart Maker. No carbs!

Flipping through the tattered leaves of my life I find that not one but two different women had the fullness of heart to actually break up with me on February 14th. One even dragged me down from Boston by bus to tell me face to face in Bay Ridge, because doing it over the phone was too impersonal. Um, thanks.

Worst V-Day idea ever? That would be the February 14th steak special at Smollensky’s Balloon in London, where I worked for a bit as a busboy. The heart-shaped pie slices were cute, especially the key lime, which took well to cookie-cutter notions. The pink heart-shaped napkins, okay, whatever. But the his-n-hers heart-shaped steaks? Romance as a function of sizzling meat? It was an idea whose time was not coming any time soon.

About Linus

The man behind the curtain. But couldn't we get a nicer curtain?
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