Macro vs. Mike Rowe

I don’t need new reasons to roll my eyes about Microsoft – I’m a thinking kind of guy, so the regular Microsoft reasons are reasons enough. (And if you think they’re bad now, just wait until they start buying into the music biz, which is as likely as 4 out of 5 fish choosing water over air.) So this domain-name mixup is just another bun in a bakery of rolls. Dumb rolls. You know when the Cameron Diaz Charlie’s Angel makes muffins that are so hard they embed in walls when thrown? Like that.

In case you were, I don’t know, paying attention to the Iowa caucus or something instead of following the tragic funny news like a body should, here’s the brief. A 17-year-old Vancouver kid name of Michael Rowe decides to strut his web design stuff on the Net. He registers his website at www.MikeRoweSoft.com, which as far as I’m concerned makes him one of the hopes for the future of western civilization. It takes the Bill Gates Army about three months to find him and send lawyers kicking his way. If the kid weren’t smart enough to go public, he’d be just another splat in Microsoft’s long history of stomps.

So, yes, we hate Bill Gates (but not as much as this guy hates Bill Gates). That’s not news, everyone hates Bill Gates. What makes my day is the name of the Canadian law firm representing Microsoft in this brainless thump of a mission – the partnership of Smart & Biggar is doing the dirty on the case. You can’t make this stuff up – you just can’t. “We can rebuild him. We can make him better, stronger, faster … I’m sorry, Mr. Biggar is on another line. Can you hold?”

It’s as good as Engulf & Devour, the big media corporation in Mel Brooks’ Silent Movie (1976). Their motto was something like “Our Bathrooms are Bigger than Most People’s Homes.”

On Gothamist, where I first read about this Mike Rowe business, commenter Trooth opines, “Let’s face it, his only real crime is being Canadian.” Like that’s not enough? Nah, kidding, we love Canadians. Speaking of Canada, our newest Home Office Records project, Ethan Lipton‘s debut recording, is up at a western Canada plant as I type, trying to clear graphics pre-flight and get into the production queue. Why oh why is there always a missing font, no matter what you do?

Our designer, the illustrious Heather, was on the phone with their art department today, squaring away fonts and bleeds and motifs and other technical sundries. She reports back to Ethan, with a twinkle no doubt, that “there’s nothing like the sound of Winnipeg in the morning.” Sounds like … Microsoft?

About Linus

The man behind the curtain. But couldn't we get a nicer curtain?
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